Last Saturday, I attended my first meeting with several women artisans. It was interesting to see how different everyone’s arts/crafts were and the different personalities and approaches to life that everyone carried with them. Since I was one of the last to leave (and probably overstayed my welcome), I thought it was interesting to find out that some of the women who had been there (and already left) didn’t consider themselves to be artists. I was all shocked until I realized that is something that I struggle with as well.
I always have that voice in the back of my head that says, “who are you to think that you are creating art?” or “it isn’t art unless someone wants to buy it” or “why do you think that anyone cares about what you are doing?”
Sometimes that voice comes to me as the voice of a family member or someone familiar I’m imagining who has made a similar remark to me in the past. Sometimes it is my own voice, backing me into a corner where I am afraid to come out and actually try to create something. That voice shames me into a place where I would do just about anything (including housework… lol) to avoid actually sitting down to create something.
The thing that kills me is that if a friend told me that they were feeling that way or hearing that voice, or even someone I didn’t really know had that same voice, I would be all kinds of indignant and raise hell. I’d emphatically tell them to ignore that voice. I’d tell them to turn up their favorite music to drown out that voice. I’d tell them to grab their materials and start creating right away to banish those negative thoughts to the thought basement. I’d tell them to surround themselves with inspiration and pick out their favorite colors and get down to business. So why can’t I tell myself? I don’t know. I guess that is a place where I need to do some soul-searching work.
But, since I am struggling with those thoughts, it seemed very timely that I ran across this video from the Gathering Up Bits of the World blog. It turns out she found it on iHanna’s blog… and so it goes. It is worth watching. And watching again. And again. And again… until that voice has no power.