The Artist’s Creed

Last Saturday, I attended my first meeting with several women artisans.  It was interesting to see how different everyone’s arts/crafts were and the different personalities and approaches to life that everyone carried with them.  Since I was one of the last to leave (and probably overstayed my welcome), I thought it was interesting to find out that some of the women who had been there (and already left) didn’t consider themselves to be artists. I was all shocked until I realized that is something that I struggle with as well. 

I always have that voice in the back of my head that says, “who are you to think that you are creating art?” or “it isn’t art unless someone wants to buy it” or “why do you think that anyone cares about what you are doing?” 

Sometimes that voice comes to me as the voice of a family member or someone familiar I’m imagining who has made a similar remark to me in the past.  Sometimes it is my own voice, backing me into a corner where I am afraid to come out and actually try to create something.  That voice shames me into a place where I would do just about anything (including housework… lol) to avoid actually sitting down to create something. 

The thing that kills me is that if a friend told me that they were feeling that way or hearing that voice, or even someone I didn’t really know had that same voice, I would be all kinds of indignant and raise hell.  I’d emphatically tell them to ignore that voice.  I’d tell them to turn up their favorite music to drown out that voice.  I’d tell them to grab their materials and start creating right away to banish those negative thoughts to the thought basement.  I’d tell them to surround themselves with inspiration and pick out their favorite colors and get down to business.  So why can’t I tell myself?  I don’t know. I guess that is a place where I need to do some soul-searching work.

But, since I am struggling with those thoughts, it seemed very timely that I ran across this video from the Gathering Up Bits of the World blog.  It turns out she found it on iHanna’s blog… and so it goes.  It is worth watching.  And watching again.  And again.  And again… until that voice has no power. 

The Artist’s Creed

Listen.

Confession Tuesday

• I thought that after a couple of weeks off of work, I would miss my job and feel empty or possibly even depressed. That hasn’t happened, and I am now wondering if it ever will.
• Sometimes friends are far better and cause waaaaay less stress than family. I hung out with my friend Stephanie yesterday. We’ve known each other since 4th grade. Every time I get together with her, it is like a huge warm fuzzy and a jolt of inspiration in life. We talked about art and she showed me her work (I just love it). Jessica worked on some sketches, Steph worked on a piece, I painted a background canvas and was imagining circus tents. Here is a glimpse of one of Stephanie's pieces...

• I feel like a bad stepmother. Against my better judgment, I’ve acquiesced to the “hands-off” approach subscribed to by my husband and his ex. Now I feel like that was a mistake.
• This is so yummy and inspiring… from Michelle Clement’s blog…

• And then look at this goodness. I’m so envious of her creativity and cuteness. Gotta love Lolly at Lollychops.com.

House Party Blog Hop

It's My Party and I'll Pout if I want

Happy May Day!  What better way to kick off the month than to start with a party!

Rinda, at (gallorganico.blogspot.com) put together this project, sent out a kit to everyone who wanted to participate, and is the wonderful host for the evening.  Be sure to check out everyone's houses!

Start off by visiting the first... Scrappyjacky.  Click on the link below to begin your house party hop!

My house was kind of thrown together at the last minute.  I looked at it and was going to start last weekend, but then things got crazy (as usual).  I thought I'd have more time during the week, but the schedule was out of control. Jessica started work a week sooner than we'd thought, so I was thrown into action in the evenings and I had other obligations AND my last day of work.  Today, Kennedy was teething and C-R-A-N-K-Y (thus the last minute throw together).  It was fun and I'd like to do it again and take more time.  I think I overdid it with the stamping around the edges, but that's just the way it is going to be for now.

Thanks for stopping by!  Have fun visiting everyone's blogs to see their creative work!

Scrappyjacky; http://scrappyjackylive.blogspot.com
The Maverick Crafter; http://maverickcrafter.blogspot.com
“Life at the Gables”; http://lizlee-liz.blogspot.com
Everyday Life of a Suburban SAHM; http://suburbansahm.blogspot.com
Squirrelyart; http://squirrelyart.blogspot.com
Lizzie made; http://lizziemade.blogspot.com/

High in the Sky; http://fromhighinthesky.blogspot.com/

I Speak Melsh; http://ispeakmelsh.blogspot.com

Deb's World; http://debs14.blogspot.com

Paper Turtle; http://paperturtle.blogspot.com

Random Reflections; http://kbwalker.blogspot.com

Nights Dream; http://blodwyn3snightsdream.blogspot.com
Living Artfully; http://sharyncarlson.typepad.com/livingartfully

JuJu's Folly; http://jujusfolly.blogspot.com/

Hootings of an Owl; http://emhowl.blogspot.com/

Over at Our Place; http://overatourplace.blogspot.com/

Den's Crafty Diary; http://deecie.blogspot.com/
http://gallorganico.blogspot.com

Bad Medicine

I am tired of having a back “injury.”  I say “injury” because I’m not really sure what happened to it in the first place.  All I know is I was fine one minute, and the next minute, I felt like I had a sore back, and it progressively got worse until I ended up in urgent care: crying, shaking and struggling to climb off the x-ray table.  I had “compression issues” and a “severe pelvic tilt” which meant that one leg was over an inch shorter than the other.  Fun times. 

No work.  Off to PT, Chiropractor, back to the doc, on muscle relaxers, ibuprofen and ice packs.  They gave me vicodin (the cure-all for the medical profession these days) but it does nothing for me, so I skipped it.  Now I’m on the  last work day at home before the weekend and the eventual return to work on Monday.  I’m kinda scared to return to work because I know my problem is not resolved, and I don’t want it to get back to the way it was before.  It has improved, but last night I was in tears from pain, and cranky from the steroids that they made me start taking on Wednesday.  They cause sleeplessness and irritability… just what someone needs when they are in pain. 

I’ve been doing some painting today, hoping that the creative therapy will stall the pain and make me feel better.  So far it is better than yesterday, so that is good.  I’m working on three paintings now.  I am finishing one that I started quite some time ago, re-doing one I wasn’t even close to finishing before, and laying the background for another that I’ve had in mind for awhile.  All in all, I’m realizing that I have a definite color palette that crosses all of my stuff lately.  Maybe that will be my signature?  Probably not a good idea.  Maybe I will just finish these and get the colors out of my system. 

Here’s a little mini scrapbook/art journal layout I threw together this afternoon.  Kind of gives the feeling of the day. 

The elements are all from Fiddlette Designs at Scrapbookgraphics.com. 

Beginning of a painting

This is the very beginning stages of a collage/painting that was inspired by the Artist's Way group/meetings.

Going to the Happy Place

Lately, when I’m frustrated, I can pick up an art book and whatever is bothering me sort of fades into the background.  No, it doesn’t mean that life is perfect, but for a moment, it is better.  Inspiration replaces frustration. 

There are many studies out that show you can only truly give energy to one thought at a time.  If you are thinking or focused on something negative, that is the energy that is flowing in you.  If you focus on something positive or something that soothes you, it really will help.  I have found this to be true. 

My current source of inspiration… Creative Awakenings by Shari Gaynor.  Its pages are filled with eye candy.  I am taking it to work with me today so I can flip through during my break and give myself a creative/inspirational jolt.  I haven't really started reading or playing with it yet, but that is in the works.  :)

I am really having a hard time with my job lately.  I don’t know what it is.  If it is the time of the year or just impatience, but I was off sick last week and never wanted to go back.  Each day is a struggle.  I’m at the two and a half year mark of being here, and I’m oh-so-feeling it.  I need to keep focusing on that happy place and have patience.  By this time next year, I will have basically almost completely finished my MFA.  *sigh*  Patience is not my strong suit.  Until then…

Art Door

Art junkie

I'm forever lured in by art. Not all art, but a good majority of it. I've subscribed to the Tacoma Arts list serv, and every once in awhile a cool project comes along that really gets me re-energized about art.

The new project I'm jazzed over is to create an art door for an auction. The auction is for Tacoma Art Place, which is an amazingly cool organization. I've taken a class there, and hope to sign up for a membership soon. They have a lot of interesting classes offered, and once you are a member, you can go in and use their space, use the kiln, etc. Anyway, they need money, like everyone does, so they are holding an auction and selling off art doors. The cool thing is that the only rule is... there are no rules! That kind of freaks me out because even though I'm not the most structured person, I do like the idea of some guidelines. But I guess I will just go with the flow and see what happens.

After I decided I'd jump in and try it, I thought it would be a brilliant thing for Matt to do. My brother is a tile setter extrordinaire. Unfortunately, he doesn't go out and sing his own praises or market himself much, and work is really slow right now. I thought it would be a great idea for him to get a door and do some sort of a mosaic on it. I know it would be amazing. Not to mention, the creator gets half of the funds.

I picked us up a couple of doors this week. They are old and heavy and not the easiest to work with, but I think we can each come up with something cool. I'm starting to formulate an idea for mine now. I think I'm going to create a storyboard type of thing (of course I would). But since I don't have Matt's mad drawing skills, I will have to come up with some sort of collage-y goodness to complete it. That's okay though because I have the idea... now it is just a matter of getting it to come to fruition.

The other good thing about this project is that it will give Matt and I a chance to bond. We don't have all that much in common, and we both have busy lives, so we don't get to spend much time together. This isn't going to provide time together, but at least we can text back and forth and send pictures of our progress. Should be fun.

My door is big and heavy and dark brown right now. I'm going to see about scraping some of the paint off it so I can start fresh.

I'm excited to get started! :)

Vertigo-ing crazy

For the first time, I've been struck with a weird case of vertigo. I've had moments, throughout life where I'd admit to being a little dizzy (and not just blonde-dizzy)... but last night was the first time it really hit and sort of incapacitated me. We'd just finished dinner and clean up and were starting out on an early-evening post-dinner family walk. I felt kind of lightheaded before we started, but by the time we got back, I was really feeling it. I was going to read, but it was too difficult, so I gave it up and just decided to go to bed. The whole room was spinning. I was reminded of times when (during grade school) I'd get sick and my grandma would pick me up from school and take me to her house, creating a cocoon on her couch for me. I'd feel so dizzy that I'd make my grandma sit on the edge of the couch so I knew I wouldn't fall off.

This morning I felt better, but it kind of comes and goes. Thankfully, it isn't as bad as it was last night, but it is still disconcerting to be sitting at the desk feeling swimmy in the head.

Today is the farmer's market in Tacoma. I'm so excited that it isn't raining. This will be the third week I've marched over to check it out during my lunch break. I generally don't buy things, but I like to see what is available and do some mid-day people watching. I brought my camera again today and hope to get some better pictures than last week. Two of my co-workers went with me that trip and did not understand my need to take pictures. They were just on the hunt for food and didn't quite have the patience to wait while I snapped some photos.

Today is also the first day of the pastels class I am taking with Jessica and Liz. We couldn't figure out a good gift for Lizzy's 20th b-day, but I thought an art class might do the trick. It is a constructive thing for her to do since she is uber-artistic. In the meantime I'm trying to think positively and not stress out about my lack of ability in drawing. It has almost reached a phobia level, which is completely ridiculous. It is so crazy that someone's criticism could stick with you for such a long time and hamper any future attempts. I'd love to track down that instructor from Antioch and give him a piece of my mind for making fun of me. Hopefully this will be a better experience.

Blogger Blues

It is hard to keep up with this blog these days. I have to maintain another blog for school, so I'm afraid this one gets neglected. Between work, school, homework, blogging for school, doing household chores, seeing friends/family, and the writing group, I'm barely keeping myself sane… much less focusing on my poor lil' neglected bloggy. :(

Yesterday, I felt really guilty. I spent a lot of time doing things that I really wanted to do. Not things that necessarily needed to be done (like the housework or schoolwork) but it was something that I needed for myself.

I spent a couple of hours in my studio. It was thrilling. I am deep in the planning stages of a "stamp camp" to be held at my house at the end of March, so I needed to get out and see what I had as far as supplies and other assorted goodies. I came up with some design ideas, but then I realized that I don't have very many stamp sets from the new catalog, so I need to go back through and figure out some sketches based on what I have. Anyway, I got some things sorted and my thought process is a little more organized now. That is a very good thing.

And speaking of "it's a good thing"… I went to Artco (in Tacoma) yesterday. I was grossed out by the store (all dingy/dirty) but they did have a line of Martha Stewart crafts! There was a lot of eye candy in that aisle. Almost enough to give you a cavity. The nice thing about it is that it isn't as expensive as I thought it was going to be. For instance, I looked at bone folders over in the regular section. They wanted like $8.00-10.00 for them. It seemed really steep. So then I looked over at MS and happened to see some for $5.00. I was pleasantly surprised. They also have punches that are reasonable.

We went to Stephanie & Casey's for dinner last night. It was soooooo good to see them. It seems like time is just going too fast. I think the last time we got together was before I started working at Davita (which was at the end of last May). Geez! But it is always so good to get a chance to hang out with her. It is like time hasn't passed. Last night, we got on the subject of someone we went to school with, so Steph whipped out her yearbooks from junior high. It totally cracked me up. In 7th grade, I wrote some run-on sentences that were repetitive and lame. By 9th grade, there was an entire page that had "RESERVED FOR KIM" on the top. I filled it too. My writing started out all nice and neat, but then got all wild and crazy. I had written about things that we swore we'd never forget. Most of them we remembered, but there were a couple of less-prominent ones that escaped us now. It was a good evening though. Like being with family… only better because you realize that you've remained close over the years not because you had to and were obligated to like you do with some family… but because you have that bond and you want to remain close. It is a special kind of friendship when you can think about it that way and realize that you've been friends since you were nine… almost thirty years.

New Year... New Quarter... New???

It is already starting into the third week of January (2nd full week) and I feel like I'm already falling behind in life. 2008 came in without a lot of fanfare for our family. I think we were still worn out from the complete craziness that we took on for the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays. It took days to recoop from back-to-back Christmas Eve and Christmas day extravaganzas. I think our dishwasher went on strike. Last week we found that it had blew the electrical outlet and needed to be repaired.

School started last week. I'm taking 17 credits this quarter, and unfortunately, may have to have five days of class. That will be completely insane, but I don't know that I'll be able to get around it.

There is a lyric essay course I've been checking out. It is put together by writers.com. They have a lot of great class offerings and I wish I could take a bunch of them... finances will keep me from doing so, but hopefully I will be able to squeeze one in from time to time. Next quarter, I will do the lyric essay for an independent study course. :) They also have free writing groups you can subscribe to. I haven't done that, but it sounds interesting. I've got enough on my plate right now as it is. I took over the Tacoma Writers' Meetup right before Christmas. Kirsty was stepping down as organizer and I've been itching to do something like this for years and years, so I snatched up the opportunity and am very excited about it.

Yesterday, I took some stuff (supplies like crazy) out to my "studio." I stood there, among my many treasures, and wanted to cry over all of the neglected babies that are out there. The big canvas taunted me with its blank stare, daring me to attack it with a bout of creativity. But I had laundry to do and organizing of the closets, meals to prepare and homework to do. So I turned the key in the lock and sighed a big sigh as I headed back to the house. It is awful. It feels like everything in the universe is pointing me in the direction of doing some creative crafts/art, but I can't seem to find/make the time. Maybe that is a direction I can take for spring quarter. Maybe I can put together some art workshops and have play dates with myself and create a whole course surrounding everything I want to do... if only.

Big Screen Big Outings

Okay. Tammy and I submitted our art project to the Tacoma Art Slam. The event took place Friday night (11/16) at the Rialto Theater. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I found my way there after class. The theater was dark and filled with art sympathizers. :) I came in part way through and realized that they were showing it on the big screen. They cycled through everyone's art. Allowing a couple of seconds per slide. Each contributor was allowed to submit ten slides, so it was an interesting mix of visual stimulation.

Can I just say... it was sooooo cool to see our names on the big screen and to hear people clap for our efforts. It made all of the work worthwhile. :)

Today we attended the Puget Sound Poetry Connection's poetry open house and marathon at King's Books.

Tammy and I each read a couple of poems during the first open mic session. It was good to get up there and get something out and not be *as* nervous.