Confession Tuesday: The Marriage Edition

Is your marriage everything you thought it would be back in the days of the first blush of love and then the wedding planning?  Did you have role models for your ideals of marriage? 

I have been thinking a lot about marriage lately.  Probably because I realized that I should be thinking about it rather than just going along on auto-pilot.  I actually think that my recent focus on scrapbooking has really made me think about our lives and how fast time is passing.  It seems like there is always the “we’ll get away for a romantic weekend next month” or “we can always reschedule our anniversary celebration” (the last three years something has disrupted it), but something else always ends up on the horizon and days turn into weeks and then months and years and before you know it, the opportunities get fewer and farther between. 

Marriage is 20% romance and 80% work.  I saw that today on a poster, and I smiled to myself because it is true.  Or at least most of the time it feels true.  I guess “work” isn’t probably the best term, but these days I’m trying to decide what it is.  It is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day operation of life, that it feels like there are times that we are just aren’t focusing on the “marriage” itself because we are so busy putting out fires and dealing with other dramas.  But lately, I’ve decided that I need to refocus.  I have always felt that it is important to remember that marriage is a relationship like any other that needs to be maintained (even when I don’t have it in the front of my brain).  Just because we are on the same team, it doesn’t mean that we can take each other for granted.  Just because one or both of us may not be the MVP of the current game, it doesn’t mean that we should stop giving each other appreciation. 

Tim joked around the other day about how we’ve “grown old together” now that we have two grandkids.  I gave him the look and told him that I am not old, so he looked appropriately chagrined, and I forgave him.  We’ve been together for almost ten years and have known each other for eleven, so it isn’t like “forever” but we have gone through a lot in that ten years.  We really don’t ever fight.  We have both come from past relationships where there was fighting and/or tension, and neither of us is up for that, so we just don’t fight.  There may be times where one of us is irritated with the other, but I think we both recognize it and shift gears so resentment never builds.  We don’t ever say mean things to each other or put each other down.  We are terrific together.  So I feel like I’m very lucky. 

But on the other hand… I can be a better wife.  That is my confession to you today.  I read “The Happiness Project” and felt like there were aspects of her story that definitely could apply to our lives and our marriage.  So I think I’m going to work on my own “Marriage Project” where I will seek out advice from couples who have successful marriages and implement things that make sense.  I will hug my husband more, tell him how spectacular he is (even if I’m frustrated with him for a moment), be grateful that fate intervened and we ended up together, and also give him more quality time.  I believe, that if I do those things, and refocus my energy just a little more, we will have an even stronger marriage that will continue to bring us happiness for the future when we really have grown old together. 

So what are your marriage/relationship secrets?  I’m looking for volunteers to share their philosophies on relationships/marriage, the love stories, the ups/downs and how to hold things together.  I want to know how you decided on what marriage should look like and whether or not you had role models (real life or fictional) that helped you on your path to wedded bliss.  Let me know if this is something you could see yourself participating in because I would love to know more.

I’ll leave you to think about marriage and with a recent picture of us that I was able to get scrapped the other day.  Funny how it is one of the only ones I have of the two of us.  See… my focus is helping already.  LOL. 

Credits: In This Together kit - Shawna Clingerman
Amour en Bleu kit - Susan Bartolini
Scraplift of Sugarbabe Jen Tapler's http://www.sweetshoppecommunity.com/...awaii_1983.jpg
Bad Sewing Machine #27 - Traci Reed

Confession Tuesday

Do you have something to confess today?  Something that has been on your mind or keeping you awake at night? 
I haven’t done a Confession Tuesday in awhile, so I thought I’d do one to catch up. 

• Today is one of those days I did not want to get out of bed.  I had a headache, and I have such a cozy cocoon of a bed, sometimes it makes it nearly impossible for me to leave.  Heck, who am I kidding?  I had that same feeling yesterday.  LOL.  In fact, I texted my DD from bed, telling her that my poppy field was keeping hold over me.  We jokingly call my bed the field of poppies as in the Wizard of Oz. 
• I have been in a quiet mood for the past few days because I’m in a little bit of a mourning period.  My DD is going to move out and take Little Mister (of course… but I had to post that because when my grandma heard the news she asked, “… and taking the baby?”  LOL.  I am happy for her though because I know it is hard to live at home when you are an adult.  AND… I will still get little mister 5 or 6 out of 7 days.  So I guess it isn’t all that different.  The main difference will be that I will have several hours of quiet time every morning and won’t be able to blame my horrible procrastination on her.
• I’m drinking water today.  Yes, that is a confession because the bigger confession is that normally I don’t drink water.  Be gentle with me. I know it is terrible.  I just hate it so.  I’m going to start drinking more water each day.  
• I'm participating in a new poetry workshop with three other people, and I think we're starting tomorrow, but I haven't written anything yet.  I need to get on it!
• Since I was in a whiny-feeling-sorry-for-myself mood the past few days, I did not post my menu for the week.  I’m going to do it now so I can hope to get into the habit.  Check out others' Menu Plan Monday at orgjunkie.com 

 

Credits: Jenn Barrette - Kitschy Organized

So do you have any burning confessions you would like to share?  What does the week ahead hold for you?

Confession Tuesday

I have to confess, I think I have been in a bit of a funk the past week and a half.  I am extremely UN-motivated.  I'm not sure what it is.  I'm trying to focus on positive things and find inspiration around me because otherwise it is too easy to continue the funk.  I think I need to get out of the house more often.

I am thinking that I am not going to be going to my residency in August.  That will postpone my degree for a few months.  That is frustrating.  I just received my "grades" for the last two modules.  One professor didn't give me a grade or credit for the January quarter.  I'm not sure what that is about, so I will have to find out what is going on and then get it taken care of.  I did the work, I deserve the credit.  Just because he didn't communicate with me, that isn't my issue.  I emailed him several times and never heard a peep.  That will mean that I will have to go back to England in January.  Now I know that seems like it isn't really a bad thing, and it isn't, but that wasn't in the plans.  But August just seems like it has had too many things against it all along.  I think that I was meant to go to England.  First it was my job stalling my August trip, and now this (combined with the lack of alternative childcare for little man and transportation issues). 

I got all teary-eyed today because little man is making his first foray into the crawling world.  He's been "practicing" his crawling posture the last couple of weeks.  He would get up on his hands and knees and rock back and forth.  Then he would scoot his knees forward a bit, but didn't know what to do with his hands.  Today, he actually figured out how to move his hand forward, but couldn't get much farther because he still had his weight on his right hand.  It will come... soon.  Then there will be no stopping him.  He's just growing up so fast.  It is sad.  This week, he will be six months old.  The other day was his first experience with his pool.  :)

I've run across some amazing blogs lately.  Very inspiring.  I need to take all of that inspiration and use it to motivate myself to get things accomplished.  I think that I'm suffering from too much inspiration.  It is like I get over-stimulated in the creativity department and become immobilized.

We're going to be working on Tim's parents' house to get it ready to put on the market.  It is going to be a huge undertaking, but it is a necessity.  I got to pick paint colors and decide on what needs to be done to make it look better, so that was fun.  I felt like I was on a show from HGTV or DIY.  The realtor came in and looked around and agreed with most all of my ideas for changes.  The only thing he didn't agree with was putting a new counter and tile floor in the kitchen.  He thinks that we should just do vinyl flooring and then leave the countertop as it is so someonme can do their own thing.  I can kind of see his point, but there aren't a whole lot of selling points on the house (small rooms, outdated cabinets/tile/fixtures, yard that needs lots of TLC, etc.) that I thought it would be better.  We'll see how it all works out.  Jessica looked at it the other day and heard my ideas and now she wishes she could afford to buy it.  It is too bad something couldn't be worked out. 

Lots of things to do... I should stop wasting time writing this and get busy with a new project.  LOL.

Confession Tuesday

• I want to contact the Bravo network and tell them to create a new reality show surrounding Speakeasy.  The arts co-op that always has some sort of drama and/or intrigue going on.  It wouldn’t be a competition like the one they started last week, it would  kind of be like the Real Housewives, but with struggling artists instead.  It would definitely be as dramatic as the Real Housewives.  LOL
• Tim and I went to LongBeach on Sunday/Monday.  Thirty-six hours at the beach and not one picture.  I can’t believe that I didn’t take any.  It is so ridiculous.  One of the pictures I would have taken was of a man who looked like he should be appearing on one of those websites where they show hideously dressed people.  He was a tall bald senior wearing dirty grey sweatpants that were too small/short.  He had suspenders on *with* the sweatpants, so they were riding high.  He was wearing flip flops and a grimy t-shirt as well.  Not a pretty sight. 
• Wherever we go, we seem to find some unsavory food situation.  We will be grossed out and complain about it afterward, but we never tell the restaurant because we both avoid confrontation.  Sunday evening, we went to a restaurant that seemed like it was going to be a good experience.  It was awful.  I had a wilted salad, watery corn chowder, and a french dip that was on the wrong kind of bun and the au jus smelled like a wet dog.  Ewwww.
• Before we came home, we ordered a Tsunami Burger from The Corral, which was a little hole-in-the-wall burger joint the size of a postage stamp.  My daughter and her friend had one a couple of years ago and wanted us to bring one back.  It was 5 pounds of burger and it fit in a catering deli tray.  Hugely obscene really.  They asked if we wanted the 5 pounds of fries too… we passed on that.  We only ate a tiny portion and now are sharing it with others.  Crazy.
• I wish Jessica’s cat, Piper, would run away.  She is so weird, and she often tries to kill us on the staircase.  I wouldn’t be sad if she were gone.
• I want to see Despicable Me.  :D  It looks so cute. 

Confession Tuesday

I have an idea.  It is a project I’m going to run at Speakeasy, and I’m totally excited about it for some reason. 

Probably ten years ago, the Jaycees made a trip to the Hands-On Children’s Museum in Olympia.  We had a blast.  I don’t know who had more fun… the adults or the kids.  Anyway, I have wanted to start a kids’ museum ever since. 

I was thinking about that the other day and thought about doing a major event at Speakeasy where we’d basically put on a kids’ museum for the day.  But then when I was thinking about all of the ideas I had for that, I thought it might be a little bigger than I would be able to do (without help) in the next couple of months, so I pared it back to just one of the elements. 

We are going to put on an archeological adventure day for kids.  They will come into the gallery and receive a passport/adventure book.  Each station will have a stamp to add to their passports. 

• We will have the first station be the picture taking/identification station.  They will get their pictures taken and printed for their passport booklet and have a badge with their names. 
• The next station will be an introductory meeting at “base camp” on Speakeasy Island.  Everyone will introduce themselves and get an itinerary of the day’s events. 
• They will move on to the “map room” where they will be able to color and decorate their maps. 
• Then the group will move ahead to the “fossil station” where they will make bones from clay and fossils with plaster of paris.
• While those items are drying, they will move on to the station where they will hear a story and get more info about digs and other cultures.
• Finally, they will put together their own archeological dig box (a rubbermaid tote with sand/soil) and add a coordinates grid.  someone will then place their bones in the box to be dug up later.  The kit will have a brush for cleaning the items and a notebook for documenting where the items were found.

The Speakeasy artists can help with decorations and being guides for the stations.  We will project dinosaurs onto the walls and have a big volcano.  There will be greenery around and then a canopy tent for base camp.  I’m pricing sand, containers and other components and putting together a project/event proposal. 

I just hope that it will work and that we could actually get some kids to come out and join in the fun.  :)  If so, then I will start working on the bigger plan of the kids’ museum for the day.  Yay!

If you want to help out/volunteer or have any ideas to add on, let me know.  :D 

Confession Tuesday

• I thought that after a couple of weeks off of work, I would miss my job and feel empty or possibly even depressed. That hasn’t happened, and I am now wondering if it ever will.
• Sometimes friends are far better and cause waaaaay less stress than family. I hung out with my friend Stephanie yesterday. We’ve known each other since 4th grade. Every time I get together with her, it is like a huge warm fuzzy and a jolt of inspiration in life. We talked about art and she showed me her work (I just love it). Jessica worked on some sketches, Steph worked on a piece, I painted a background canvas and was imagining circus tents. Here is a glimpse of one of Stephanie's pieces...

• I feel like a bad stepmother. Against my better judgment, I’ve acquiesced to the “hands-off” approach subscribed to by my husband and his ex. Now I feel like that was a mistake.
• This is so yummy and inspiring… from Michelle Clement’s blog…

• And then look at this goodness. I’m so envious of her creativity and cuteness. Gotta love Lolly at Lollychops.com.

Confession Tuesday

This is going to be a quick one…

• I am thoroughly excited about the fact that Law & Order: Criminal Intent is back on the air tonight.  I’m a little disgruntled over the fact that Goren and Eames are going to be out as characters this season, but I am trying to maintain an open mind. 
• I am also excited that national poetry month is just days away.  :D  I’m going to participate in FaBoStaMe tomorrow at 5:00 pm.  I believe it stands for “Facebook status message” but FaBoStaMe is a poetry-writing challenge in which participants write one poem every minute for 30 consecutive minutes, posting the poems as their status messages. 
• This morning I was listening to Sage Cohen on the Inkwell. I was in a workshop with her back in October. Now I can’t stop daydreaming about poetry.  I am also thinking a lot about how words are power and we need to choose them carefully. 
• With that said, I totally want to create a vision board.  We were supposed to do that at a Speakeasy meeting, and I’d taken supplies to do it, but there were too many “business” items so we didn’t get to it.  I need to get that on the calendar.
• And speaking of calendars, I’m totally tired of physical therapy.  I feel soooo much better now, and I really don’t like to take the time to go and submit myself to torture.  I’m trying to figure out how I can just stop going without having them get on my case about it.  Isn’t it stupid to be afraid to tell your PT that you don’t want to come back?  I just feel like they would have me come forever if I don’t stop soon.
• I’ve been on a garlic kick the past week and a half.  It is kind of scary.  Last night, I even ate some fries just so I had a vehicle for eating the raw garlic.  It seems crazy.  I’m sure Tim is quite tired of it at this point.
• Readwritepoem is going to be having a prompt a day during the month of April.  Get your poem on! 
• I love being a “gran” and snuggling with Kennedy on a daily basis.  *sigh*  He’s growing and changing every day.  Totally amazing. 

Confession Tuesday

It is becoming more and more evident that I can only seem to keep up with my blog when it is confessional time.

1. I am behind on all things right now (except at work).


2. Kennedy snuggles are amazing. Being a grandma rocks.


3. It is still hard to get used to the idea that my baby has her own baby.


4. I finally got items into my space at the Speakeasy gallery. Yay. Now I just have to create more.




5. I am daydreaming of vacation.


6. I’ve been carrying a Safeway cake slice around in my backpack for a week, only taking a bite or two at a time. It may be time to throw it out.


7. Thoughts of art keep creeping into my day, and now that is all I want to do.


8. After dropping my in-laws off at the home yesterday afternoon, my MIL had an “episode” where she was disoriented and wanted to go outside to walk in the grass. Somehow I feel like it is my fault. Logically, that doesn’t make any sense, but it still feels that way.

Confession Tuesday

Last month, I confessed that it had been way too long since I’d blogged.  Since then, I haven’t blogged at all, so it has been a month since I’ve updated.

Confession #1: I think I’ve finally hit the tipping point as far as taking too much on with the amount of time I have in any given day.  We’ll see if I can maintain the balance or not.  *Crossing fingers*

Confession #2: I really want Jessica to have the baby so I can stop feeling all apprehensive about it, and I can have four days off of work, and life will somewhat get back to normal.  Of course, that isn’t a very grandma-like thing to say, but I don’t really feel like I’m going to be a “grandma” and *this is* confession Tuesday, so that is it.  I’m also so very beside-myself-with-excitement to meet the little ball of wonder.  :D 

Confession #3: If you think hateful thoughts about your co-worker, but tip the Starbucks barista at the drive-thru just a little extra, karma should be in alignment… no? 

Confession #4: I really want red hair again.  I have an appointment today after work to get something done with my hair.  I’m at my wits’ end with it.  Tim would prefer blonde (don’t all gentlemen?) but I really don’t know if I can keep myself from picking a sassy red.  :p

Confession #5: It is four days until my anniversary and I have no idea what to get Tim.  Ugh.  Help?

See how therapeutic this is? 

Confession Tuesday

1. I’m a bit behind on all things blogging and writing. I have about five draft posts sitting in queue waiting to be finished.  Arrrggghh.  Life has been crazy busy the past few weeks.  But I am going to participate in Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Blog Challenge.  I may not be able to keep up with everything (especially since I started so late), but I think it is totally cool.  I stumbled upon it through the blog of Kelly Rae Roberts (also very very cool). 
2. I am quietly thankful that the baby shower is now officially past us, so life can somewhat return to normal.  Jessica was thrilled with all of the people who came and everything she received.  Eileen reminded me that I *am going to be* a grandma soon.  Yikes.  Somehow, when I think of myself, the term grandma does not really feel like it fits yet.  Heck, it has been almost two months, and I haven’t even gotten used to the idea of being (shhhh) 40 yet.
3. I am envious of my fellow students who are going to England in January.  I didn’t think I’d be envious because I was cold and tired and hungry the whole time I was there, but for me, that was definitely my Best Trip in 2009.  London was cool even though I got lost and walked for miles and miles and miles and then cried when I finally broke down and took a cab.  Then there was my solo bus tour adventure going to Salisbury, Bath and Stonehenge.  Another adventure back to the airport to meet up with everyone and then to Wroxton for a rapid-fire residency where I met some wonderful people and have come to hope that they will be in my life for a long time.  I remember sitting in Heathrow before my long journey back feeling a ton of overwhelming mixed emotions.  I felt sick and was so looking forward to returning home.  I didn’t think I’d ever want to travel again by the time I had my flight to Atlanta and then a 3.5 hour layover before the next 6-hour flight home.  But once the travel bug bites, it is hard to let it go.  I had a great trip to NJ in August for my second residency, and a couple of fun trips to Portland, OR in the fall, but nothing can beat travel to Europe.
4. I think I am one of the few people who do not want to watch the coverage of the memorial services/procession for the four fallen Lakewood police officers.  It just breaks my heart to think about the senseless tragedy.  The public service is right down the street from my office, so I can see the roadblocks and flashing lights.  :( 
5. I have too much homework to do and don’t feel like working. 
6. I am excited for Christmas.

Confession Tuesday

Confession #1. I really really want to be a stay-at-home mom. Yes, I know that defies logic seeing as how my child is now going to be having her own child. Maybe it is because I just turned 40 and I’m suffering a mid-life crisis, but if I’m really good, can’t I just stay at home and be a grandma? And study hard for school? And create art while the perfect grandchild sleeps? And cook nutritious meals for the family? And sometimes take the doggies for a walk? And occasionally check in during the day on my in-laws? I think that sounds like a good role. One that I could heartily embrace. Unfortunately, I do not think it is in the cards for me now. Bah!

Confession #2. I am a joiner. I get excited and I sign up for things. Later, when I have my wits about me, I wonder if I took on too much by whatever it is that I signed up for, but I don’t really care. That is the second part of confession number 2. I love it. I love being energized by new ideas or creative projects. I can’t help myself.

Confession #3. I enrolled in Shimelle’s Blogging for Scrapbookers class. I was entranced by the description of the class, and I realized that I do need to start recording more memories (on a regular basis). I’d like to learn a few things, and maybe end up feeling like my blog could be a productive place.

Confession #4. I love my husband.

Confession #5. I don’t think I let him know that enough. I need to work on that now and in the future.

Confession #6. I love thinking that maybe I can tie all of the things above into one giant opportunity. Hmmmm. We’ll have to see about that.

More later.