Mr. Bates
Loneliest number -- not one –
and three is not a crowd
from a watcher’s point of view.
A neighbor peeks through
cracked curtains and
seeks booty-call visuals
in Pottery Barn bedrooms.
He catches a non-missionary glimpse
when the breeze sweeps across
an empty manicured lawn
and creeps into summer-spilled windows.
Soccer mom rides blind
in the night bathed by noisy
blue television light.
With a final grind,
lithe hips slip. Her real
estate husband dips his
Ken doll head, hitting
his numbers for the month
before twitching to sleep.
She sighs – unbridled –
paying no never mind
to Gary Two-Doors-Down.
Mr. V for Voyeur
who, from a distance, can’t see
the thin sheen of passion
glittering her skin but feels
the heat in the palm of his hand.
This is a step outside of the comfort zone for me, but it is based on a prompt given out at Read.Write.Poem, so I just had to give it a try. Check out the others...
9 comments:
I can read the frustration here..
what does one call it?
Yes, I think you're absolutely right that three is indeed the loneliest number - there's nothing like the company of a loved-up couple to make the gooseberry feel lonely and single! Well done for stepping outside your comfort zone!
Yes, interesting things always happen outside the comfort zone. You get to a real sense of suburban creepiness here. I like it.
You create a scenario here most of us would not enter otherwise. I'll be sure to close my curtains and draw the blinds tonight! Very effective.
Soccer mom rides blind/in the night bathed by noisy/blue television light.
You might be out of your comfort zone, but you do create some really good phrases and images like the one above.
Great rhythm, good structure and fine images, well done.
so glad to bring you out of your comfort zone -- it was central to the prompt. yay! i like all the drama the watcher witnesses ... other people's issues (although the watcher intended to see just The Sex).
it's an interesting dynamic, and when i read your disclaimer about it being outside your comfort zone, i thought, "ooh, it would be awesome to reflect that discomfort somehow in the watcher!"
I can really latch onto Nathan's suburban creepiness comment... this was so well done and really successful in creating just the right mood for the prompt.
Wow...
i second, the next door voyeur is very well captured.
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